16 October 2010


"I thought pimples would end when I turned 18; but the nightmare continues. I probably am the subject matter expert on pimples going by the number of pimples I must have operated or the diversity in location of these fuckers on my face.

First you get a little lump. Then it gets bigger and you can feel it. The it gets bigger and people can see it. It gets red’ur and it’s a pain in the butt and you have to do something about it. From this point on it either forms a little puss boil and goes away some night or you are forced to get your hands to it.

Now operating the pimple is an art. You push it from all sides equally; mind you pushing it equally is as important as selecting the right time (!!!!No pun intended) to operate it. And all u dimwits it’s not the time of the day I’m talking about; it’s the life cycle of the pimple.

A successful outcome is when the shit comes out like a little ball and the face is nice and clear. When it is unsuccessful; the shit spurts out and lands on the mirror leaving a mess on the mirror and your face. Now my success rate has been great lately but back in the days I have had to clean up a lot of mess.

Not surprisingly filmmakers get pimples too. Mani Ratnam got one some time back to create a surreal movie experience. What better than mythology and the woods. Both can be as surreal as your interpretation and method of use. Filmy pimples are big problems. It’s not just you who’s got to fix it, you got to explain a team of people on how you plan to fix it. When u have Rehman and Santosh Sivan (,,,and Resul Poo watever!!!!) I can completely understand the bordering confidence. But you don’t do it jus on confidence,,,u wait for the right time.

Agreed Mani Ratnam makes great movies but he is in heart a simple storyteller. His stories have always fascinate me; his POV on issues are uncomplicated and he plays with the screen play really well. What he’s not good at is multilayered stories; in all honesty he’s still an amateur. Raavan was a simple subtle concept. Why fuck it up by inviting the whole world to draw conclusions when ur not sure yourself. As the wochowski’s say; matrix worked coz Keanu Reeves understood it. Abhishek Bachchan is an immature, inexperienced, spoilt, dumb, boring wannabe. Does not possess half a brain to comprehend what ratnam was talkin about. He’s jus a fluke actor who should have never made it. I m tired of having a sigh watching his movies and sayin; “ good try,,,next time”. When’s that next time coming dumass."

15 January 2010

DasBaba Movie Awards for 2009

Disclaimer : Awards are based on my personal opinion which i think is better than most of you so screw you if you don't like it. If you want to know the criteria for my choice, ask a question in the comments section. I doubt you will get any justification but just because you made the effort i may oblidge.

BEST MUSIC : Amit Trivedi (Dev D)

BEST MALE SINGER : Shaqkat ali Khan (Tum Mile-rock version)

BEST FEMALE SINGER : Kavita Seth (Iktara-Wake up Sid)

BEST LYRICS : Gulzaar (Dhan Te Nan-Kaminey)

BEST SONG : Iktara-Amit Trivedi (Wake up Sid)

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY : Shivagee Chandrabhushan (Frozen)

BEST EDITOR : Aarti Bajaj (Dev D)

BEST SCREENPLAY : Vishal Bharadhwaj, Sabrina Dhawan & Abhishek Chaubey (Kaminey)

BEST STORY : Anurag Kashyap & Raj Singh Chaudhary (Gulaal)

BEST DIALOGUES : Anurag Kashyap (Gulaal)

BEST SCENE : Kaminey where Mikhail (Chandan Roy Sanyal-awesome find)gives Charlie and Bhope a visit in his cottage
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (MALE) : Amol Gupte (Bhope-Kaminey)
Closely followed by : Piyush Mishra (Prithvi Bana-Gulaal)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (FEMALE) : Arundhati Nag (Vidya's Mum-Paa)

BEST DEBUT : Chandan Roy Sanyal (Mikhail Mukherjee in Kaminey)
BEST ACTOR (MALE) : Amitabh Bachchan (Auro-Paa)
Closely followed by : Abhimanyu Singh (Ransa-Gulaal)

BEST ACTOR (FEMALE) : Priyanka Chopra (Sweety Bhope-Kaminey)

BEST DIRECTOR : Ayan Mukherjee (Wake up Sid)
Closely followed by : Vishal Bharadwaj (Kaminey)

BEST MOVIE : Vidhu Vinod Chopra FOR 3 Idiots
Closely Followed by : Ronnie Screwala FOR Kaminey