26 May 2011


From a strictly project management point of view; “Dum Maaro Dum” fails on a number of accounts. The first problem is the filmmaker’s inability to understand the core product.

When making a thriller; there are two ways of going about it. The first is to evolve the story or the character in a crescendo to climax at the right time. The film takes the route of parallel narrative to reach a point in the story where they all meet and the story moves from there. In principle that is where the film went wrong. Ending the parallel narrative at intermission confuses the audience and you leave the story handicapped; basically a dick with no hand to jerk. “Kya hai kahani tere paap ki”- tag line for the movie gets lost for not allowing enough time. This is where a question needs to be answered; was it a good move to cut the movie short to 130 min. A good story in a Hindi movie could easily hold somebody for 150 min or so. The parallel narrative could have continued for a good twenty minutes more evolving the characters and then caressing their respective lives to another point of culmination. I don’t know what the answer to that is but it’s strictly a screenplay issue.

What also could have been done was to rely on the twists in the tale to engage the audience which I strongly believe could have been done; but then the film had to have more histrionics with the protagonists. Traditionally; histrionics can make-up for lack of character evolution. Unfortunately for a movie so dependant on the characters and their individual behaviours steering the storyline; the only character allowed to grow is entrusted with the worst actor of the film.(Here I go again!!!! My pet hate; Abhishek Bachchan).

I honestly cannot understand what it is with good filmmakers and Abhishek Bachchan. I think we have enough evidence to suggest that he has absolutely no calibre as an actor and the only credible piece of work he has is Yuva. All he can possibly do is look good in a Hindi Rap song. In the same breath; “thayn thayn” was strictly mediocre. The best song in the movie; “Jeeyein Kyun” was wasted and I so wish I could yell and abuse Rohan Sippy when I was watching it being butchered.

Rohan; I loved Bluff master, but you need to realise something if you haven’t already. It worked because of Rietesh, Nana and the music. Nothing that good was in this one.

Hope you make a better one next time.

For everybody else; go watch “Shor in the city”………….Awesome

16 October 2010


"I thought pimples would end when I turned 18; but the nightmare continues. I probably am the subject matter expert on pimples going by the number of pimples I must have operated or the diversity in location of these fuckers on my face.

First you get a little lump. Then it gets bigger and you can feel it. The it gets bigger and people can see it. It gets red’ur and it’s a pain in the butt and you have to do something about it. From this point on it either forms a little puss boil and goes away some night or you are forced to get your hands to it.

Now operating the pimple is an art. You push it from all sides equally; mind you pushing it equally is as important as selecting the right time (!!!!No pun intended) to operate it. And all u dimwits it’s not the time of the day I’m talking about; it’s the life cycle of the pimple.

A successful outcome is when the shit comes out like a little ball and the face is nice and clear. When it is unsuccessful; the shit spurts out and lands on the mirror leaving a mess on the mirror and your face. Now my success rate has been great lately but back in the days I have had to clean up a lot of mess.

Not surprisingly filmmakers get pimples too. Mani Ratnam got one some time back to create a surreal movie experience. What better than mythology and the woods. Both can be as surreal as your interpretation and method of use. Filmy pimples are big problems. It’s not just you who’s got to fix it, you got to explain a team of people on how you plan to fix it. When u have Rehman and Santosh Sivan (,,,and Resul Poo watever!!!!) I can completely understand the bordering confidence. But you don’t do it jus on confidence,,,u wait for the right time.

Agreed Mani Ratnam makes great movies but he is in heart a simple storyteller. His stories have always fascinate me; his POV on issues are uncomplicated and he plays with the screen play really well. What he’s not good at is multilayered stories; in all honesty he’s still an amateur. Raavan was a simple subtle concept. Why fuck it up by inviting the whole world to draw conclusions when ur not sure yourself. As the wochowski’s say; matrix worked coz Keanu Reeves understood it. Abhishek Bachchan is an immature, inexperienced, spoilt, dumb, boring wannabe. Does not possess half a brain to comprehend what ratnam was talkin about. He’s jus a fluke actor who should have never made it. I m tired of having a sigh watching his movies and sayin; “ good try,,,next time”. When’s that next time coming dumass."

15 January 2010

DasBaba Movie Awards for 2009

Disclaimer : Awards are based on my personal opinion which i think is better than most of you so screw you if you don't like it. If you want to know the criteria for my choice, ask a question in the comments section. I doubt you will get any justification but just because you made the effort i may oblidge.

BEST MUSIC : Amit Trivedi (Dev D)

BEST MALE SINGER : Shaqkat ali Khan (Tum Mile-rock version)

BEST FEMALE SINGER : Kavita Seth (Iktara-Wake up Sid)

BEST LYRICS : Gulzaar (Dhan Te Nan-Kaminey)

BEST SONG : Iktara-Amit Trivedi (Wake up Sid)

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY : Shivagee Chandrabhushan (Frozen)

BEST EDITOR : Aarti Bajaj (Dev D)

BEST SCREENPLAY : Vishal Bharadhwaj, Sabrina Dhawan & Abhishek Chaubey (Kaminey)

BEST STORY : Anurag Kashyap & Raj Singh Chaudhary (Gulaal)

BEST DIALOGUES : Anurag Kashyap (Gulaal)

BEST SCENE : Kaminey where Mikhail (Chandan Roy Sanyal-awesome find)gives Charlie and Bhope a visit in his cottage
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (MALE) : Amol Gupte (Bhope-Kaminey)
Closely followed by : Piyush Mishra (Prithvi Bana-Gulaal)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (FEMALE) : Arundhati Nag (Vidya's Mum-Paa)

BEST DEBUT : Chandan Roy Sanyal (Mikhail Mukherjee in Kaminey)
BEST ACTOR (MALE) : Amitabh Bachchan (Auro-Paa)
Closely followed by : Abhimanyu Singh (Ransa-Gulaal)

BEST ACTOR (FEMALE) : Priyanka Chopra (Sweety Bhope-Kaminey)

BEST DIRECTOR : Ayan Mukherjee (Wake up Sid)
Closely followed by : Vishal Bharadwaj (Kaminey)

BEST MOVIE : Vidhu Vinod Chopra FOR 3 Idiots
Closely Followed by : Ronnie Screwala FOR Kaminey