27 January 2009


If you have followed the mind retarding media hype (yes; I am one of those low life who reads and watches everything the media says about movies) about the three supposedly big BOLLYWOOD movies that came out in the past three months, you would understand what follows.

The 3 movies in discussion are Rab Ne Bana di Jodi (RNBDJ), Ghajini (G) and Chandni Chowk to China (CCTC). All the three movies are clear examples of the biggest problem with Bollywood movies, same fuckin story since the past three decades. All 3 movies had stories which were so common in the 90’s. Thank God, they didn’t have parallel comic streams (the Johnny Lever story streams running parallel to the movies in the 90’s) to the story; that would have made the already painful experience even worse.

Ghajini, is my pet hate these days. It disappoints me more than the hate it generates.

What was the fuckin so called “thinking actor” on? I am sure it was the spiked weed that makes your brain goes moronic. For once can somebody tell me which arsehole was assigned the job of dressing up the actor? I would shoot him/her so this never happens. Saying that the clothes were obnoxious is an understatement. Which business tycoon in the world wears muscle shirt with a tie to work . Agreed; you worked on your body and got all that muscle bulging out of your arms. So fuckin what? Aamir Khan looks disinterested in the part where he has to behave like a normal person. I am sure he was thinking about how he is goin to moan in the part where he has to tear off his shirt and see his tattoos, which for me was the only well thought idea in the whole movie which eventually just added on to the numerous things that the screenplay could not follow through. For a business tycoon; I am sure there would have been million other ways to achieve personal Vendetta. The whole point of the character being rich in the movie was the character of the actress to meet the actor and create a love story which did not eventuate into a good love story anyways. Bollywood being the “love story” factory, I am sure they could find a different and more believable way to connect the two characters. Apart from this I could not find any reason for the character to be stinking rich, which I must say negates the whole path taken by the character to eliminate the Villain.

CCTC was supposed to be a kung fu comedy. It was the first movie in months that I was finding it hard to sit through. To set things straight, the movie is not funny and the kung fu is disappointing, it’s just the visualisation that makes it watch able in parts. The story is absolutely baseless. Akshay Kumar has to stop taking himself this seriously. His comedy was really good in Hera Pheri and above average in some other movies, but the recent lot that he has completed, are just irritating. I don’t think this movie deserves any time to be spent even analysing. All I can say that if this movie makes money, TASHAN should get an OSCAR.

RNBDJ was not at all path breaking. It had a run of the mill story, the actress was not good enough and Shahrukh Khan hammed his way all through out the movie. But, the movie was one of the better ones that came out in the past few months. The movie was able to create moments between several characters which made the movie emotionally gripping. A major credit goes to the background music of the movie which translated the sentiment the story wanted to convey at that moment in a very contemporary way. My favourite parts were the scenes between SK and Vinay Pathak, who proves his calibre as a method actor once again. Although most of the basic concepts in the movie were old school, it connected well with what the story wanted to convey.


Memento rip-off Ghajini has now started giving me the creeps. I feel so lost every evening when I wake up and all I do is look for tattoos all over my body to find none. He he.Great B S (Background Score, morons!), oscillatory cinematography, a hot lady-love and a hotter bimbo, "Aamir's Perfect" look of a psychotic avenger and the South Indian action make it a paisa-wasool product.Especially after CCTC, which made me want to burn effigees of myself in public (for watching the movie, you see - "What the hell was I thinking"?). "Rab Ne..." was another disappoiting SRK-starrer and I wonder if it was made to give Anushka Sharma a jump-start in Bollywood. Could have been "Nishabdh Continued..." IF ONLY, King Khan (Grrr!) had not spent a fortune on getting that hawk-beak of a nose and a potato-peels facial skin that makes him look 50, if not, 63 (makes you want to appreciate AB for playing his age, though he too stuck to being a lover for quite sometime when he should have been playing Daddy). Sorry dude, but I am done watching glycerine-d eyes and sappy romantic faces, and after CCTC (which is a no-genre, on-screen, fiasco), I would rather stick to looking for tattoos every evening on my body. Ha ha ha ... plunk (fell off my chair laughing)!