pimples

"I thought pimples would end when I turned 18; but the nightmare continues. I probably am the subject matter expert on pimples going by the number of pimples I must have operated or the diversity in location of these fuckers on my face.



First you get a little lump. Then it gets bigger and you can feel it. The it gets bigger and people can see it. It gets red’ur and it’s a pain in the butt and you have to do something about it. From this point on it either forms a little puss boil and goes away some night or you are forced to get your hands to it.



Now operating the pimple is an art. You push it from all sides equally; mind you pushing it equally is as important as selecting the right time (!!!!No pun intended) to operate it. And all u dimwits it’s not the time of the day I’m talking about; it’s the life cycle of the pimple.



A successful outcome is when the shit comes out like a little ball and the face is nice and clear. When it is unsuccessful; the shit spurts out and lands on the mirror leaving a mess on the mirror and your face. Now my success rate has been great lately but back in the days I have had to clean up a lot of mess.



Not surprisingly filmmakers get pimples too. Mani Ratnam got one some time back to create a surreal movie experience. What better than mythology and the woods. Both can be as surreal as your interpretation and method of use. Filmy pimples are big problems. It’s not just you who’s got to fix it, you got to explain a team of people on how you plan to fix it. When u have Rehman and Santosh Sivan (,,,and Resul Poo watever!!!!) I can completely understand the bordering confidence. But you don’t do it jus on confidence,,,u wait for the right time.



Agreed Mani Ratnam makes great movies but he is in heart a simple storyteller. His stories have always fascinate me; his POV on issues are uncomplicated and he plays with the screen play really well. What he’s not good at is multilayered stories; in all honesty he’s still an amateur. Raavan was a simple subtle concept. Why fuck it up by inviting the whole world to draw conclusions when ur not sure yourself. As the wochowski’s say; matrix worked coz Keanu Reeves understood it. Abhishek Bachchan is an immature, inexperienced, spoilt, dumb, boring wannabe. Does not possess half a brain to comprehend what ratnam was talkin about. He’s jus a fluke actor who should have never made it. I m tired of having a sigh watching his movies and sayin; “ good try,,,next time”. When’s that next time coming dumass."

DasBaba Movie Awards for 2009

Disclaimer : Awards are based on my personal opinion which i think is better than most of you so screw you if you don't like it. If you want to know the criteria for my choice, ask a question in the comments section. I doubt you will get any justification but just because you made the effort i may oblidge.

BEST MUSIC : Amit Trivedi (Dev D)

BEST MALE SINGER : Shaqkat ali Khan (Tum Mile-rock version)

BEST FEMALE SINGER : Kavita Seth (Iktara-Wake up Sid)

BEST LYRICS : Gulzaar (Dhan Te Nan-Kaminey)

BEST SONG : Iktara-Amit Trivedi (Wake up Sid)

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY : Shivagee Chandrabhushan (Frozen)

BEST EDITOR : Aarti Bajaj (Dev D)

BEST SCREENPLAY : Vishal Bharadhwaj, Sabrina Dhawan & Abhishek Chaubey (Kaminey)

BEST STORY : Anurag Kashyap & Raj Singh Chaudhary (Gulaal)

BEST DIALOGUES : Anurag Kashyap (Gulaal)

BEST SCENE : Kaminey where Mikhail (Chandan Roy Sanyal-awesome find)gives Charlie and Bhope a visit in his cottage

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (MALE) : Amol Gupte (Bhope-Kaminey)
Closely followed by : Piyush Mishra (Prithvi Bana-Gulaal)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (FEMALE) : Arundhati Nag (Vidya's Mum-Paa)

BEST DEBUT : Chandan Roy Sanyal (Mikhail Mukherjee in Kaminey)

BEST ACTOR (MALE) : Amitabh Bachchan (Auro-Paa)
Closely followed by : Abhimanyu Singh (Ransa-Gulaal)

BEST ACTOR (FEMALE) : Priyanka Chopra (Sweety Bhope-Kaminey)

BEST DIRECTOR : Ayan Mukherjee (Wake up Sid)
Closely followed by : Vishal Bharadwaj (Kaminey)

BEST MOVIE : Vidhu Vinod Chopra FOR 3 Idiots
Closely Followed by : Ronnie Screwala FOR Kaminey

Overdoze on dope

I intentionally tried to refrain myself from posting anything so as to complete the killing of Ravi Nair from my previous post. I am also reading the white tiger by Arvind Adiga for some inspiration; but that’s going to take time and I just could not resist the temptation of posting something about weird random adventures I’ve had in wonderland and the internet. A lot of it is pieces of stories and theories that I’ve heard and read from various sources while creatively wasting my time at work in times when the economy is giving it to us.

Assuming that life’s a combination of innumerable variables coming together with varying intensities and quantities, the probability of having a positive outcome eventually can be a very small number. So animals with brains as we are; we hope (pray for that matter) to get a positive outcome and rely on a supernatural unsubstantiated incomprehensible force; God.

Here’s for some overdose on dope; imagine the existence of life on a parallel universe which has taken the sole responsibility of transferring best practices everywhere that life exists; came to earth thousands of years ago to reduce the inherent barbarism that was so common before the Aliens gave birth to civilization by dazzling earthlings with possibilities way ahead of our time; and just so to have a lasting effect when they were not here said they were the incarnation of the supernatural. May be they had a periodic inspection to make every few thousand years for continuous improvement and came back to earth (once in every “yug”).

Not that I am atheist or something but the presence and existence of God; some would call it magical realism.

Yes I am completely obsessed with James Cameron’s “The Avatar”. Not the movie really although I am sure it would be a visual feast. What intrigues me are the parallels it draws with stories from the Hindu mythology which I am pretty confident; is the oldest account of the existence of the supernatural among earthlings.

The Soloist is by far the best movie to come out of Hollywood this year. It has a sort of a poetic flow to it and intriguing essence; none of which I have witnessed in a really long time. Whether it’s the slur that Nathaniel has to his speech or the silences for Steve Lopez; the movie has managed to capture every emotion to that character at that moment of its life. The miles that the characters travel especially Robert Downey; with just a little expression is in the same league as Al Pacino in the scent of a woman. I am paranoid fan of Al Pacino drama and I did not believe that an actor would be born with the same level of sensibilities; but make way for Robert “Steve Lopez” Downey Jr. The movie goes on and proves the myth severely incorrect that all good movies need to have a conclusion. The movie leaves a question mark. The movie may not have a conclusion for face value but presents several metaphors for life.

Speaking of metaphors, I recently laid my hands on an Anurag Kashyap interview where he elaborates on how he made a fool of an entire system with his film “No Smoking”. He was facilitated by the health ministry for promoting the idea; part of the same group of people who banned his “Black Friday” (Was stopped by the government from releasing). The movie is not anti smoking; it’s pro smoking. What he really wanted to convey is how freedom of expression; the sole privilege of being the citizen of a democratic nation, is suppressed in the country. Smoking was a metaphor for expression as it uses the same two fingers as we all do for writing; and how as a community we isolate smokers and free thinkers. Baba Bengali; the crazy rehab man was a metaphor for the powers that be who derive their power from the underprivileged (the dwarfs in the movie), minority (the women in burkhas) and brute force.

If that’s not crazy enough, I also read somewhere that Looney toones was America’s answer to propaganda by the Russians.

To finish off, I also watched “Wanted”, “Do knot disturb”, “Aagey se right”. Let’s not get started on that.

Pathetic.

And yes; GO WATCH KAMINEY if you haven’t.